


Jack's phone - I already know where this is going. And I gotta comment.

by thatmichaelgirl (SupernaturalMystery306)



Series: EXPERT COMMENTS [4]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low, only very briefly tho
Genre: M/M, SASSY PEOPLE - I TAGGED THIS, and having sex, inserting comments., its hot, jack writes cashton smut, luke is mean to ashton, more stupid boys, sending stupid texts, they all do the do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:44:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4072273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/thatmichaelgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>The time Michael found some fanfiction on Jack's phone and they all had sex. Pretty much what it boils down to with 5sos.</b>
</p><p>IT ALWAYS DOES.</p><p>-----</p><p>DISCLAIMER: I do not own this work. I sorta do. But, this is basically another author's work, and I have added my comments in between it. Kind of like those "Reading the this-that-book" fics.<br/>The original author approves of me doing this, so don't go running to them complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack's phone - I already know where this is going. And I gotta comment.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kailogan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kailogan/gifts).



> another one. :D
> 
> AND I MEAN NO OFFENCE TO SHAKESPEARE HE'S AN AWESOME DUDE.

I'm adding the notes as well.

Notes at the beginning: **THIS IS NAUGHTY.** you don't even need to justify anything with these guys, man. srsly.

\----

**Michael: oh my fucking god...**

I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR NEXT FIC IN THIS SERIES.

**Calum: what**

**Michael: just...holy shit**

BUT THAT'S MY PHRASE. EH, YOU CAN SAY IT MIKEY.

**Ashton: whats happening mikey**

**Michael: i stole jackys phone and i....holy god i can't...**

EVERYBODY WANTS TO STEAL HIS PHONE. EVERYBODY WANTS TO TAKE HIS PHONE AWAY.

**Luke: seriously what the fuck is happening?!!!**

LET HIM SPEAK LUCAS. PATIENCE IS THE KEY.

**Ashton: language lukey!**

HHAhaAHAHAHAHAHhahAahaHAHAHAHAHAHhahHAHAHahaHAhahaahHAAHHAHA.

**Luke: oh sorry daddy**

OOH, _SASSY~_.

**Ashton: SHUT UP**

AND SLEEP WITH ME COME ON WHY DON'T YOU SLEEP WITH ME.

**Calum: hahaha holy shit. nice one hemmings**

**Luke: i thank you**

HE WELCOMES YOU.

**Ashton: seriously gtfo**

PISSED ASHTON IS SO GONNA PUNISH LUKEY LATER.

**Michael: GUYS! can we get back to me dying pls**

OUI. NO WAIT, DON’T DIE. PLEEEEASE.

**Michael: i honestly can not breave**

*BREATHE. AND DON'T HAVE PANIC ATTACKS. UNLESS YOU'RE AT THE DISCO.

**Calum: alright mikey just tell us already**

SO TELL ME RIGHT NOOOOOOOOW.

**Michael: i was just scrolling through his notes looking for black mail material when i found it...**

WAIT, DON'T THE GUYS HAVE PASSWORDS FOR THEIR PHONES OR SOMETHING??

**Luke: dude the suspense is killing me**

AND ME TOOOO. OH WAIT, I'VE ALREADY READ THIS A MILLION TIMES. 3-4 TIMES, ACTUALLY. HONEST AND ALL THAT.

**Michael: look away lukey...this is too adult for your eyes**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH. WILL SASSY LUKEY STRIKE AGAIN. KEEP ON READING TO FIND OUT!

**Luke: oh fuck off**

YES HE DOES. LUKE-1, MICHAEL-0.

**Calum: hahsha**

**Ashton: again with the suspence**

ISN'T HE GONNA BERATE LUKE FOR HIS LANGUAGE NOW?

**Michael: i found this**

IN THE DARKEST HOUR. I FOUND THIS IN THE POURING RAIN.

...YES, I LIKE TO PUT FANDOM REFERENCE AFTER FANDOM REFERENCE IN A THIRD FANDOM'S STORY. YES, THAT'S ME.

**Michael: "Please." Calum gasped out the plea as Ashton crowded him against the wall, hand on Calum's dick. The stokes were torturingly slow and Calum groaned again and begged.  
** "Fuck! Please Ash!" Ashton smirked at this. He loved to tease and he knew all the things that made his boyfriend completely lose control. He pulled away to swipe his thumb across the tip and Calum made an agonized noise of desperation.  
"What do you want baby?" Ashton whispered, husky and deep in the bassist's ear. The voice sent shockwaves and shivers down Calum's spine.  
"Want me on my knees? Your cock in my mouth, all warm and wet around you." Calum's hips stuttered as Ash spoke and his pace sped up a little only to slow again.  
"Or I could fuck you against this wall. Hard. Fast. Rough. Just the way like it."  
"A-Ash...." Strangled moans fell from Calum's lips but Ashton kept talking and letting his fingers dance over Calum's cock.  
"Maybe I'll ride you. I know that gets you hot. Aw does little Cally want that? Want to be buried inside me, or do you want me pounding in to you?" Calum could only whimper, eyes screwed shut.  
"Well which is it? Answer me." The drummer demanded, tone harsh yet overwhelmingly teasing.  
"P-p-please...fuc-ck me Ash.." the words were broken between gasps as Ashton chose that moment to grasp Calum more firmly.  
"Fuck me hard." Ashton smiled at this and let go of Calum's dick, who whined at the loss of contact. He looked at his boyfriend desperately and Ashton looked to be considering it.  
"Tell you what," he said thoughtfully, "let me fuck your mouth and I might." Calum knew his knees would bruise with how quickly he dropped down and started to unzip Ashton's jeans. He pulled them down, along with his boxers and quickly took the tip into his mouth. The muscular boy groaned and grasped as the short black hair of his boyfriend. The tan boy let his jaw go slack as Ashton rocked his hips back and forth. His cock hit the back of Calum's throat and he moaned.  
"Mhmmn..Calum, so good." Calum felt a lot of satisfaction from knowing he could get Ashton just as worked up as he got him.  
"Strech yourself." Ashton spoke, his voice full of pleasure as he fucked Calum's mouth. Calum was only to happy to oblige as he reached down behind himself to push one finger in. The dryness stung painfully but Calum ignored it and continued to work the digit and to add another. Ashton pulled Calum back up, causing his fingers to slip out and kissed him filthy and dirty. Tougue roaming and teeth biting. He spun Calum so his face was pressed against the wall and pressed his tip to his entrance, his cock sliding a little with the saliva that covered it. He pushed in roughly and Calum let out a choked groan.  
"Fuck...urgh Ash come on!" Ashton felt that Calum had been teased enough that day so he quickly pulled out and pushed in again. His thrusts were fast and deep. Each one crushed Calum against the wall and had him gasping and moaning like a whore.  
"Jesus Christ!" The both turned and saw Luke with a horrified and disgusted expression. Silence fell over the room until Michael arrived after Luke and stared laughing as soon as he witnessed the situation. Luke dragged the guffawing Mikey from the room with a call of,  
"We'll talk later. Have fun." And the door slammed behind them. Ashton laughed pulled out of the bassist, who whined at the loss.  
"Sorry babe, but we can't continue after that. We should go talk to them." Ashton reasoned. "Lets go shower. I promise I'll sort you later." Calum knew he was right and if he was honest, he didn't feel like he could carry on after that without scarring himself further. Just kill him now. 

OKAY I HAVE NO COMMENTS TO THIS. ZIPZERONADA. MY BRAIN SHORTCIRCUITED SOMEWHERE IN THE BEGINNING. IF I COULD WRITE STUFF HALF AS GOOD AS THIS, I WOULD BE FLYING TO JUPITER. AS IT IS, IF SOMEONE (i.e. my adult xD) REALLY WANTS ME TO COMMENT ON THIS BIT, THEY CAN ORDER ME TO DO SO AND I WILL DO SO. XD

OH AND BTW THAT’S 656 WORDS OF SMUT. MY RESPECT FOR YOU JUST INCREASED.

**Calum: ........**

SPEECHLESS.

**Luke: 0___0**

THESE WERE THE EYES FOR WHICH THE STUFF WAS TWO ADULT-ISH. XD

**Ashton: holy shit....**

MY PHRASE, BABY.

**Michael: ikr..**

EXACTLY.

**Luke: ummm guys**

**Calum: that is some of the most explicit cashton i have ever read**

AND YOU’VE READ A LOT.

EVERY NIGHT HE STUDIED HARD IN HIS ROOM, AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT HIS PARENTS ASSUME. AND THEY ASSUME CORRECTLY BECAUSE HE READ BIOLOGY STUFF. WHICH MEANS SEX. YEP.

**Ashton: and you've read a lot haha**

YESSSS. THIS VIDEO WHERE THEY SAY THEY’VE NEVER READ ANYTHING IS PLAIN BULLSHIT BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY HAVE. AND MICHAEL KNOWS WHAT A ONE SHOT IS. I’M SQUEALING. AND HE WAS LIKE ‘DON’T EVER READ THOSE’ OMFG.

**Calum: what..were hot okay**

SELF LOVING MUCH?

**Luke: guys...**

**Michael: i am insulted**

WHY?

**Calum: you're the one telling us go 'have fun'**

OMG. XD SASSY CALLY ALSO MAKES AN APPEARANCE. I REALLY NEED TO CHECK IF ‘SASSY PEOPLE’ IS TAGGED.

IT’S NOT! O_O WHYYY??? *sobs then proceeds to tag that herself*

ALSO, MY SISTER AND I REFER TO SEX AS FUN AND IT'S HILARIOUS WHEN OTHER PEOPLE USE THE WORD FUN IN THE INNOCENT SENSE AND WE JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMIRK.

**Luke: GUYS**

WHAT? IF YOU’RE GETTING TIME TO TYPE ‘GUYS’ THEN JUST TYPE WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO NOTICE AND THEY’LL SEE IT. SIMPLE IS THAT, LUKEY. :) (yes the creepy smile is back- ah, wait, you’re not the person with who I do the creepy smile jokes. Sorry :P)

**Luke: am i seriously the only one who's turned on rn?**

N. (not)

O. (one)

P. (percent)

E. (eh)

I KNOW THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. BUT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SEE THE FIRST LETTERS.

**Michael: no..**

**Michael: kinda why i text you in the first place**

SMARTASS. SASSY MIKEY. I’M JUST WAITING FOR ASH TO BE SASSY ASHY. I DON’T THINK HE WILL, THOUGH. HE’S TOO CUTE TO TRY SASS.

**Calum: ha told you we were hot**

**Luke: you still are**

I AM RELATING TO HIM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I SAY TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY DESCRIBE AN EXISTING QUALITY OF THEIRS IN THE PAST TENSE. EITHER LUKE AND I ARE ALIKE OR YOU (dear author of the amazing text fics) AND I ARE ALIKE. AND HOW COOL IS THAT?

**Ashton: ah smooth lukey**

JA. (Trying to show I know the translation of ‘yes’ in two-three languages. yes, I suck. but not as much as Abby “Breadsticks”. A friend gave her that name. Kudos to her (the friend) see, brackets within brackets is my thing too.)

**Michael: just shut up and get over here**

LOL, BOSSY.

**Calum: urgh fine were on our way**

LOL, RELENTING CALLY.

**Ashton: cant believe jack wrote that**

LOL, DISBELIEVING ASHY.

**Calum: me either**

LOL, DISBELIEVING CALLY.  I WISH LUKE HAD TEXTED THIS, ACTUALLY, SO I COULD COMPLETE THE ‘LOL QUARTET’ HAPPILY. IT’S OKAY THO. XD

OH AND FYI, JACK DIDN’T WRITE IT. THE AMAZING LILLYLIKEABLADE DID. UNLESS..... THE AUTHOR OF THIS WHOLE THING IS JACK. I’VE BEEN TRICKED. FOOLED. TRAGEDY. SCANDAL. BETRAYAL. I’VE BEEN BETRAYED. (yes this is a combination of Shakespeare and a pirate. Shakespeare the pirate. Nice. MAYDAYMAYDAY. But it’s June right now... so.... JUNEDAY.)

**Ashton: sounds like a good idea though**

WAIT, PIRATE!POETGUY? OH YOU MEAN JACK’S IDEAS. :/

**Ashton: talking dirty**

I THINK THERE IS A JASON DERULO REFERENCE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE. I’M CLUELESS.

**Ashton: making you beg before fucking you hard and rough**

OKAY ASHTON S.T.O.P.

**Ashton: except this time mikey and luke will be watching**

NOOOO, DON’T STOP.

**Calum: *whimpers***

MY REACTION. NOT THAT I JACK OFF TO CASHTON SMUT BUT YEA. I KINDA CAN’T. YOU SEE, I’M A CHICK, I LACK A DICK.

(sorry no one needed to know that. i’m so sorry. i went out of line. pretend a character said that. it’s funny though, so i have no intentions of removing it. sorry again.)

**Calum: lets go**

YAY.

**Ashton: theyve been quiet..think they started without us**

MEANIES.

**Calum: ah shit thats not okay**

OMG THAT SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING CUTE. AND WE GET THAT ‘I AM NOT OKAY’ REFERENCE. DOUBLE THE AWESOMENESS + CUTENESS.

**Ashton: LETS GAY!**

I CHANGED MY MIND. ~~I’M NOT LUKE.~~ I’M NOT LIKE LUKE. ASHTON IS ME. I’M ASHTON. I MEAN, I’M LIKE HIM. THIS IS WHAT I DO. DISGUSTINGLY FUNNY PUNS ARE MY SPECIALITY, BABY. XD

**Calum: wow shut the fuck up and get over here**

MEEEEEEAAAANNN. WHY ARE THEY ALL SO MEAN TO ASHY? WHY DO THEY GANG UP ON THE POOR BOY. THEY DID SO WHEN MIKEY WAS STUPID AND TEXTED THEM ABOUT HIS UNICORN BUTT HURTING.

(yeah, I added the unicorn part just to remind you)

**Calum: mikey and luke are making out**

**Calum: its hot af**

_EVERYTHING_ IS HOT FOR YOU, HORNY PEOPLE. (you’ll say, true that. xD)

**Ashton: okay okay im on my way**

**Calum: lukey says hurry daddy**

LOL, SASSY LUKEY. YESSSS FINALLY THE QUARTET IS COMPLETE. I’M HAPPY CAL DECIDED TO MENTION OUR BLONDIE PRINCESS.

**Ashton: oh you can all fuck right off**

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SASSY ASHY IS A THING. ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. ALL MY SEXUAL FANTASIES CAME TRUE.

I SWEAR, I WROTE THIS DOWN BY MEMORY. XD IT’S FROM I AM NOT OKAY, FOR ANYONE WHO’S WONDERING. XD

Calum: *giggles*

 

 

 

AS IF GIGGLY ASHTON WASN’T ENOUGH OF A CAUSE OF HEART ATTACKS.

HONEY, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, ADULT, MY IDOL, PERFECT TEXT FIC WRITER, I REMEMBER MY OWN DESCRIPTION WORD BY WORD. I’M SO IN LOVE WITH SAID DESCRIPTION. (i’m talking about your amazing comment on my not-so-amazing story. the dude, sweetie, -and oh crap I forgot it. Still, I’ll try and remember. I’m not cheating though. dude, sweetie, mate, m9, bro, man, dear little child with perverse tendencies and an obsession with Michael as a (usually horny) unicorn. yea, I remember the words but not the placement. XD i’m so weird.)

and wow, your ~~6000~~ 656 words of smut really take up a lot of words in this story. nice. xD you should post that separately also, you know, people would love reading it. :D

\----

End notes: **SPOILER ALERT: THEY HAVE SEX *WINK*** THIS IS 5SOS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT OF COURSE THEY'LL HAVE SEX.

\-------

now this has been finished as of 4 June, 2015, 17:42:21 IST. My internet is not working so I can’t post it right now. YAY ME. -_- I mean gay me. I mean go me. (Just a little piece of info, I’m not gay, in case anyone thought that, lol. xD but I have a lot of gay babies. who are older than me so idk why i call them my babies.)

IT'S 18:20:31 NOW AND MY INTERNET IS BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKKK. and i'm going to post this.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this is exactly 2200 words. Nice. 22 centuries. xD


End file.
